Life and Death

My career as a nurse in labor and delivery and now hospice has has given me many intimate, up close looks at both.
One of my first experiences with hospice was a lady that was transferred to one of the inpatient units from the hospital and life support was withdrawn. You might think that death is immediate once that happens. Not always true. This particular lady continued to breathe on her own after the ventilator was removed. She remained in a coma and would pass away within a few hours. But during her time at the hospice home, things were very peaceful and calm. I walked into her room at one point and just stood there observing her family. She was surrounded by her female relatives. Sisters, daughters, cousins. They were playing her favorite song and singing along with it, rubbing her feet and expressing their love for her. (The men were in the waiting room!) I got tears in my eyes as I pictured this exact scenario from my L&D days.
There have been many situations since then where I was able to draw a connection between the 2 and even channeled my experience in labor and delivery to help me thru a situation.
Tonight was a very intense example.
I had a patient who was actively dying and she was in a great deal of pain and distress. And she was all alone. I had to order her medications from the pharmacy and was told it would take 2-3 hours for them to arrive. This poor lady needed them NOW. She would have waves of intense shortness of breath, agitation, distress and what I can only assume was pain. Being that there were no meds I could give her I had to do the best I could. I climbed in to her bed, held her hand, spoke softly to her, applied a cool wash cloth to her forehead. At one point I was even humming a lullaby. As I lay there with her, trying my best to help sooth her and get her through this, I  was struck yet again by the similarities between my 2 jobs. The waves of distress that came over her were followed by a few seconds or minutes of peace. Just like labor contractions. There was one point where she was looking at me. It was one of those intense looks that goes right to the center of your being. Help me it says without words. The same look that an expectant mom would give me when her pain was too intense to bear. I closed my eyes and held on, helped her, soothed her. I did my best, I did all I could think of to help her.
I can only hope, pray and have faith that her reward is as glorious and beautiful as that of my labor and delivery patients.
Being a nurse and a part of both the beginning and end of life is an amazing honor.
Every day I work I experience something new, something profound, something that I will carry with me for the rest of my days. I am so thankful for my career and job...